Through the tears in my eyes

The sky is like a vase full of stars

That has just been broken

All I wanna do is lay here and soak in my sins

With my head between these melting mountains

Your crazy love starves me of sweet mercy

And the swelling ground beneath me

I can almost rest with my falling water

While this happy hell that keeps me warm

Builds heaping bands of pain in my soul

I wait here to see you

I wait for my heart to find home

Tame this hectic life for me

Take me to where you sleep

Where you breath and kiss yourself

Open your fevering heart

And just let me lay inside your chest tonight

Promise your tempting self to love with will

And I will

While your smile resembles curious vibrance

And your eyes lie me to sleep

Question me and enthuse my spirit

By mine more than anything

~~~Tuesday October 23rd 10:13pm~~~


You make me happier than anything. God I wish I knew you years ago. I miss you already. Being here, alone in my room, makes me feel cold. now that you have warmed my life, when you are gone, I don't feel right. I feel lost. I need to get out, or do something, or forget I am alone somehow. I have to go somewhere and do something.

~~~Tuesday October 23rd 10:23pm~~~


Honey, I had such a wonderful night with you. I wish I could spend everyday like this, in you arms, seeing your smile, kissing your lips, hearing the sound of your sweet voice. Thank you so much for being with me. You make me happier than I remembered I could be. And what I said, I am sorry, but I meant it. I am not sorry is more true than I am sorry, really. I keep a thin peice of pain between myself and anyone and I forgot about it and went and said something that is hanging in my heart, but that wasn't meant to be heard yet. I wish to not say Love until I am so sure of thee other. And I am so sure of you in my heart, but me in your life, i am unsure of. I want to be, yes. You want me to be, yes. But I am not thee other for you, as you are to me. I am one of thee others. THEE OTHER, THEE, in me, it is you. So, my heart spoke too loudly and I was caught in your eyes and you heard what was inside of me....please take me for the truth, but only tell me what's true in return. :c) And if you are lost right now, then that's okay. Stay there, I promise I will find you. Have a wonderful night Baby. Dream sweetly. I will be thinking of you, always. Love me.

~~~Wednesday October 24th 7:16pm~~~



The day I fell

From some eclipse

Into your hell

Right on your lips

And we kissed

And we tried

But this wish

Can't be denied

And somehow

I'm high

And if I ever die

Then please let me fly

But until I lose the feel

In my fingertips

And until you forget how to kiss

Let me live, live on your lips

Nowhere I'd rather be

No air I'd rather breath

Than the air where you are

When you're with me.

~~~Sunday October 28th 2001 middle of the night~~~



I haven't known you forever

But I feel like I have

For every good thing I forgot

Somehow you brought it back

And in your smile

I see many days

Even if we are apart

We're together, in so many ways

And how I love your eyes

When you look at me alone

If I am still alive

Then tell me when to go

Someday I'll make you happy

If not happy, then sorry for sure

Cause on day I'll be everything

all the things you wish and more

I'll take you to Guam anyway

And there we will run

the trees will be more beautiful

Than the waves and the spinning sun

And you'll love me then

Like you never have before

You'll miss me then

And tomorrow you'll miss me more

For the dreams I wasn't in

And all the slow dances that weren't with me

I'll make you sorry someday

If not sorry, then you'll be happy

Cause with every breath you take

I'm more in love with you

And beyond all the promises they make

I will KEEP MINE too

Let me be the one

To hold you up

I'll be the truth

When the lies aren't enough

I'll have the world one day

The house and love that you wish for

And someday I'll make you happy

If not happy, then sorry for sure

I can build a wall around us

Or a tunnel right trough this hell

And in our special happiness

Will be the feelings of when we fell

If you end up beside me in our bed

Then you will have all my love and more

And you will never be sorry

Only happy, for sure.

~~~Tuesday October 30th 2001 12:15am~~~



I'm so sorry

That I could never make you content

All I can be is me

All I can give is my everything

I could never complete you

Fill every void

Be all you need

Overflow you with joy

I have given you my heart

But when I see you from afar

And you choose to walk behind

You choose to wish on another star

When this one already fell for you

There's only so many lies, I can tell myself

Before I melt into something else

If I let your hands go right now

Then it is only for the best

If you come back to me on your own

Then we truly Love in happiness

Cause I can't stand

To see you cry

And watching you forgotten

Slightly makes me die inside

Here, now, I close my eyes

And let you just be

I always thought you were

Much too beautiful for me

~~~Sunday November 4th 2001 1:30am~~~



I'll hold you

I'll kiss you

I'll beleive you

I'll miss you

I'll pick you up

I'll take you there

I'll hold your hand

I'll touch you anywhere

I'll buy you anything

I will feed you

I'll never sleep

I'll always need you

I'll sing to you in bed

I'll keep you warm

I'll wash your feet

I will Love you more

I'll hug you all night

I'll let you drive my car

I'll be your sight when you can't see

I'll cherish everything you are

I'll swim the ocean

I'll cut your hair

I'll share my ice cream

I'll eat anywhere

I'll look for you forever

I'll dedicate all our songs

I will pray for you

I will make you strong

I'll tell the truth

I'll wait in line all day

I'll be on time

I will pay

I'll call off

I'll run in the rain

I'll make you laugh

I'll take the pain

I'll do the eye thing

I'll wear your ring

I'll miss you

I'll miss everything

I'll be sorry I guess

I'll find out someday

I'll keep on loving you

But I can't live this way

~~~Sunday November 4th 2001 2:00am~~~



I don't know how long it's been

About a minute or maybe even ten

But I want you to kiss me again

Be something more than my friend

You already are, more than the sun

Kiss me again to see what I will become

I've been thinking of things to do

Since my air has been renewed

And my dreams are something blue

Why does this world turn about you?

At first I found it hard to beleive

Kiss me again to see what I can be

So who needs rainbows now

I've got to get to you somehow

And I don't cae if the moon falls down

All I need is to breath outloud

There's something special about this one

Kiss me again to see what I will become

Please say you hear the ocean in me

If I could carry you across the sea

And then lay you in the sun to sleep

And island of Love is where we would be

Like magic, your lips seem to make me live

Turning me into something better than this.

~~~Monday November 5th 2001 6:38pm~~~



Watch my expression

As you perminently suspend me in the sky

Should I beleive the words you speak

Or give in to them being lies

Nobody knows my real name

Only you have seen the truth tonight

But in the end I'm still hanging

You still levitate me with your eyes

I promise you can leave me now

I am satisfied with this light

You have given me more sky to see

Than I ever knew there was this high

So just say a word or two

And instantly I will be above

Sometimes you drift me up so far

I can berely fee your love

~~~Friday November 9th 2001 4:40am~~~ .


You say I have wings like an Angel

But for some reason I can't fly

And these feathers on my back

I can't see them with my eyes

So when we thought they were too heavy

The were keeping me on the ground

You said you would trim them

Then you asked me to turn around

When I moved myself in place

And you looked for these things

You were so surprised to see

There never were any wings

Nothing for you to trim for me

Nothing to hold me down or let me fly

I have only been myself

I've never been an Angel in my life

Do you still love me?

~~~Friday November 9th 2001 4:55am~~~