IF YOU KNEW

If you knew

The feeling in my head

When the doctor talks each time

If you knew

How hard it is to swallow

With the thoughts in my mind

If you knew

The pain inside my body

The temporary ones

And the forever ones

If you knew the mornings I wake up

The ones I wish I wouldn’t

If you knew

The breakdowns I hide

And how deeply I carry on

If you knew

The injections, the tests

The hospitals, the beds

If you knew

The hopelessness I live to except

And the denial I rely on to breath

If you knew

The prayers I fall asleep to

And the disappointment each day

If you knew

The number of smiles I have left

You’d understand why I wish for more

If you knew

The countless things that I will never explain

You may know me someday